Let’s begin by first identifying the hierarchy of the ‘pocket cards’ you’ll be dealt, and the ‘community cards’ you’ll get to see on ‘The Board’. Plus, since you’re likely familiar with the composition of a deck of 52 cards, you know full well that there are 13 different cards, in 4 different suits; hearts, diamonds, clubs, and spades. The hearts and diamonds are red, and the clubs and spades are black (all of which are on a white background).
The 13 ‘Individual Cards’, together with frequently used ‘poker names’ for the cards, and the 1 letter symbol often used to identify the cards, are as follows:
— Ace (Bullet, Rocket, (A))
— King (Cowboy, Monarch, (K))
— Queen (Lady, Dame, Dyke, (Q))
— Jack – (Knave, Hook, Fishhook, (J))
— 10 – Ten (Dime, (T))
— 9 – Nine (Niner, (9))
— 8 – Eight (Snowman, Fat Lady, Ocho, (8))
— 7 – Seven (Hockey Stick, (7))
— 6 – Six – (Boot, (6))
— 5 – Five (Five Spot, (5))
— 4 – Four (Sailboat, Sharp Top, Four spot, (4))
— 3 – Three (Trey, Crab, (3))
— 2 – Two (Deuce, Duck, (2)).
Next, allow me to share with you the often used ‘poker terminology’ for the 13 different pocket pairs that you can be dealt; where, as you’ve previously come to understand, only you can see your ‘pocket cards’. And, at the outset of your introduction to the game, you should come to recognize that you’re going to be dealt a pocket pair, on average, over the long-term, once in approximately every 16 hands.
The pocket pairs, in hierarchical order, and the ‘poker parlance’ for all 13, are as follows:
— AA – Pocket Rockets, Rockets, Bullets, or American Airlines
— KK – Cowboys, King Kong, Gorillas, Kangaroos, Monarchs, or Krispy Kreme
— QQ – Ladies, Hookers, or Siegfried & Roy
— JJ – Fishhooks, Hooks, Jokers, or Jay Birds
— TT – Dimes or Tension
— 99 – Gretzky, Popeye’s, or Phil Hellmuth
— 88 – Snowmen, Fat Ladies, Dog Balls, or Race Tracks
— 77 – HockeySticks, SunsetStrip, or Mullets
— 66 – Route 66, Kicks, or Cherries
— 55 – Presto, Speed Limit, or Nickels
— 44 – Magnum, Sail Boats, or Middle Age
— 33 – Crabs or Treys
— 22 – Ducks, Pocket Swans, or Deuces.
What about some ‘poker lingo’ for most of the ‘generally good’ pocket cards you’ll be dealt. And, frequently, dependent on the table position you currently occupy, as it relates to the Dealer Button (DB), you’ll look to play these cards whenever ‘the price is right’….that is, as long as it’s not going to cost you ‘an arm and a leg’ to see the Dealer lay out ‘The Flop’; the 3 ‘community cards’ to be placed on The Board’ after the ‘Pre-Flop’ betting has finished.
So, the ‘unpaired starting hands’, and most of the ‘poker verbiage’ used to describe the usually playable pocket cards are as follows:
— AK – Big Slick or Walking back to Houston
— AQ – Little Slick, Big Chick, or Doyle Brunson
— AJ – Blackjack, Ajax, or Jackass
— AT – Bookend or Johnny Moss
— A5 – High Five
— A4 – Topped Four
— A3 – Ashtray or Baskin and Robbins
— A2 – Hunting Season or Acey-Deucy
— KQ – Marriage (if suited) or Mixed Marriage (if not suited)
— KJ – Kojak, King John, or Tucson Monster
— KT – Kate or Katie
— QJ – Maverick or Oedipus
— QT – Quentin Tarantino
— JT – Days of Old
— T9 – Paint Plus Connector
— 98 – Oldsmobile
— 87 – RPM
— 76 – Union Oil
— 65 – Medicare
— 54 – Jesse James or Colt.
Additionally, there are some famous ‘poker nicknames’ for a few hands that you might want to be familiar with….players will occasionally use these names, and it would serve no useful purpose for you to be ‘left in the dark’ while they were talking:
— KKK – Alabama Night Riders or Three Wise Men
— TTT – Thirty Miles of Bad Road
— 222 – Huey, Dewey and Louie.
— AA88Q – Dead Man’s Hand
— AKQJT – Broadway
— A5432 – Wheel
— 3 of a Kind – Set (if you hold a pocket pair matched by a ‘community card’
— 3 of a kind – Trips (if one is in your pocket and two are ‘community cards’)
— Full House – Boat or All The In-Laws
— 4 of a Kind – Quads or Quad Set.


 reserved by: D. M. Vadnais